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so pull me up / pull me up
Time was a funny thing. Some played fast-and-loose with the concept of it, moving through their daily lives at their own pace. Others could not function without it. The ticking of each increment of every second was their equivalent of a pulse, for the lack of a heart.
Some just lived by the clock because it was how they were raised. The seconds ticked and they obeyed. The kind of people that would be at a dormitory door knocking at the precise instant the sun peeked out over the horizon, whether or not any of its occupants actually cared to wake up at dawn.
Ciel Soleil withdrew her hands behind her and waited for someone, anyone, to answer. She cast a glance to the side, down the hall, to where her charge was peering around the corner. An attempt to hide herself that wasn't very convincing, what with the hooded jacket and sunglasses out of place in the dim pre-morning hours of this summer day. It was some time after the incident at the tournament, and the first time students from Atlas had set foot within Beacon's halls since.
She sighed quietly to herself. The things she does on orders...
There was movement behind the door, and she turned to greet the sleepy face that belonged to the very same girl she had been sent to retrieve.
"Ruby Rose. I am here to pick you up for a meeting. You have one minute to redress yourself." Her tone was impassive as always. It was a funny way to say 'good morning'. Ruby should realize right away, as Ciel brought up her arm and glanced at her watch that she did not mean a figurative minute; she meant sixty seconds precisely.
Better hop to it.
Some just lived by the clock because it was how they were raised. The seconds ticked and they obeyed. The kind of people that would be at a dormitory door knocking at the precise instant the sun peeked out over the horizon, whether or not any of its occupants actually cared to wake up at dawn.
Ciel Soleil withdrew her hands behind her and waited for someone, anyone, to answer. She cast a glance to the side, down the hall, to where her charge was peering around the corner. An attempt to hide herself that wasn't very convincing, what with the hooded jacket and sunglasses out of place in the dim pre-morning hours of this summer day. It was some time after the incident at the tournament, and the first time students from Atlas had set foot within Beacon's halls since.
She sighed quietly to herself. The things she does on orders...
There was movement behind the door, and she turned to greet the sleepy face that belonged to the very same girl she had been sent to retrieve.
"Ruby Rose. I am here to pick you up for a meeting. You have one minute to redress yourself." Her tone was impassive as always. It was a funny way to say 'good morning'. Ruby should realize right away, as Ciel brought up her arm and glanced at her watch that she did not mean a figurative minute; she meant sixty seconds precisely.
Better hop to it.
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But she just can't find it in herself to react that way. Or react at all. Everything lately had just passed by in a blur; the grimm invading, Roman and his goons fighting with the military, the White Fang, Emerald and Cinder and Mercury throwing their lot in with Torchwick...
And Penny. Through it all, her mind just kept flashing back to Penny. Her sweet, innocent friend who never did anything wrong to anyone, lying still and broken on the arena floor.
She still cried about it. In fact, it was what she'd just been doing before she heard the knock at her door. Being left alone with her thoughts was bad, now; it was easy to think about other things, to brush off that stifling feeling of sadness when her friends and her sister were around her. But they were all preoccupied with other things today, so Ruby couldn't fight those thoughts back.
Maybe that's why she manages to get the energy to roll out of her bed, careful not to fall. A distraction would really be nice now.]
I... okay. [Without her usual rushing, she's much less clumsy throwing some clothes on. The only thing she stops to do before opening the door is tug up her hood - she's still not really feeling much for dealing with the outside world, with the suspicion and scorn that all Beacon students now must bear in the aftermath of the Vytal Festival, so that's her one guard against it.
It's a bit more than one minute later, but she tugs open the door, brows furrowing in the shadow her hood casts on her face.]
... Um. What are you doing here?
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She actually had a frown upon her face when she looked back down the hall. Penny picked up on this and ducked around the corner. Around the bend, an emergency door cracked open and slammed shut.
Ciel had lost count, briefly. She was about to reach up and knock, again, when the door gave way before her.
Seeing that look on Ruby's face, even she could not bring herself to chide her for taking twelve seconds too long. ]
As I said, there is someone here who wants to meet with you. It's someone you would not want to keep waiting. [ That sure sounded ominous, but in honesty, Ciel had meant to say that it was someone she would look forward to seeing after all this time. But she's not so good with this sort of thing.
Ciel took a step back and turned away, gesturing to the hall. The way toward a dead end, save for that door students were not supposed to use. ]
Please, follow me. I will take you to her.
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Maybe that's why Ruby doesn't really question this. Even if this is someone she knows - albeit vaguely, only by appearance and her connection to (heart clenching stomach twisting for a minute she can't breathe) Penny - this is also someone probably connected to Important People in Atlas. Like she was.]
Right... sorry.
[Even with the lethargy taking over her, she genuinely does sound sorry. The last thing Ruby wants to do is disappoint anyone more than she as a student of Beacon already has.]
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Quickly. [ There was no alarm on it, thankfully, but there still might be someone coming at any moment. She cannot take any more chances. ]
---
[ Ruby won't be get two steps clear of the building before a heavy weight falls upon her shoulders and back. A pair of sturdy arms embraced her and hoisted her clear off of the ground. It's a lot like someone was going to steal her away right then and there, and with Ciel's urgency it certainly might seem so to the girl.
Fortunately there is no unmarked van nearby, no men in suits of armor, and also one bright, loud, familiar voice to cut through that impression. ]
My friend!!
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What are you-waugh!
[For a brief moment, her brain goes into full-blown panic mode, and her vision tunnels so quickly she can't get a focus on anything. But almost immediately after it comes to a screeching halt so fast you could almost see the smoke coming out of Ruby's ears.
That... that voice...]
P-Pen... [As soon as Ruby squirms around a bit to get a good look at her "captor", she almost immediately goes limp in Penny's grasp. No, that can't... that...]
... Penny?
[In the short time that they've known each other, Penny has probably never heard Ruby's voice sound so small, so afraid...]
I feel like I should have made a throwaway ciel account for this OH WELL
Something was wrong. A million things could be wrong in a million ways and right now she doesn't want that. She had arranged this to be the perfect day to return, to make things better, to show that she's all right, and Ruby was... Ruby...
She did not like blaming others, but given that it was only the three of them here, Penny could not help but turn her head to gaze back at Ciel, still in the doorway.
Ciel gazed back stoically, not showing any signs that she understood what was happening any better than Penny she. She signaled with her hand, all five fingers stretched apart.
Penny frowned. That was ludicrous. Panic crept into her voice. ]
We have five seconds?!
[ Ciel shook her head. ]
...five minutes...? [ Penny only sounded slightly less disappointed. Five minutes could seem like an eternity right now, and yet it wasn't nearly enough time to get everything out.
Ciel shook her head again, rolled her eyes, and flashed her fingers in emphasis. Penny warmed up.
Five hours, and then the girl was gone through the door. Off to no doubt buy them that time; or at least give them some privacy. She didn't even wait for Penny to thank her. ]
NAW WE'RE GOOD
Ruby squirms again, not to put any distance between them, but so she can get her arms free, so she can reach out and press her hands on either side of Penny's face. She even uses a thumb to push up the glasses obscuring the other girl's eyes, and though her stomach churns in fear for a moment as she remembers how empty those eyes had looked the last time she saw her, it almost immediately settled again when she sees the life once more in them.]
Penny, is it... [There's another first for Penny. Ruby's voice wavers, shock and disbelief filling it as tears form hot and fast in her eyes.] Is it really you...?
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All told it was far too easy to put Penny back together again once she had been shipped off to the proper facility. The same could not be said of her best friend, whose pain and sadness struck the android immediately. This... This is what cut her, deeply. To Penny the physical wounds had been superficial by comparison.
She knew there was no way to stop those tears in their tracks. Even as her hand came up to rest her cool skin to Ruby's warm cheek in kind, it was a futile attempt at comforting her friend. There was no way to make up the time lost, or the pain suffered, so she might as well embrace what was to come.
Penny spoke softly while gazing into those sad, silver eyes. ]
It's all right, Ruby. Let it out. I'm here now.
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Penny!
[And then it all just. Comes rushing out. Ruby hadn't really let herself cry since that moment in the arena; everything was falling to chaos so fast around them, people needed her help and her team's help. She had to bottle up all that pain and anguish, and the fighting had gone on for so long that she just. Never had a chance to let it out until now.
So it takes a few minutes for her to calm down. A few minutes of body-wracking sobs and a hug so tight Ruby's sure she's putting a dent in Penny's metal body (and then she instantly hates herself for thinking that because her brain immediately snaps back to the sight of Penny lying so still and broken and--), but that's all it takes.
When she finally calms down, pulling back again just enough to wipe at her reddened eyes, she's shaking like a leaf. Geez, who knew that letting out pent-up emotion like that took such a toll on you...]
Penny... I'm so sorry.
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This is not how she had planned their reunion to go. To be fair, that was a gross underestimation on her part. She couldn't have made any accurate assumptions based on her limited experience. The only thing she knew is that no one was allowed to speak of her condition outside of the lab, for the incident had tarnished the reputation of her "project" and it was best if she stayed out the public eye for a short time. Let the dust settle, let people pick up the pieces, let them mourn and, hopefully, forget a little. Make room for forgiveness and healing.
Penny can already feel that there is still a lot of work to be done. But she has hope that things will work out in the end. People are stronger than they give themselves credit for. Ruby was strong, and kind. She will bounce back just as Penny had.
But these things take time. ]
No, I'm the one that is sorry. [ Her eyes were downcast but a moment as she considered what, precisely, she should be apologizing for first. ] They told me that you tried to see me — but they wouldn't let you approach the arena. They wouldn't let anyone interfere with my retrieval. It was crucial to ensure that I was ... whole. [ Speaking about it so clinically was the only way to keep the quiver from her own tone. See, just because she was unaware of the intervening time it did not make the trauma of the moments before any less painful. It did not erase the very real memories of that attack; the horrified look on Pyrrha's face when she realized what she had done. A look that Penny burned into her memories but did not truly comprehend. It was not the look of a champion tournament veteran achieving victory through skill.
It was a look she blinked away as she once again settled her eyes upon Ruby's reddened, swollen eyes. ] I wished only that I could have contacted you sooner. But it was, it still is, too soon for that.
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[And there it is. It was something she'd managed to hide from most people - save Yang, because it's impossible to hide things from your sister - since the disaster during the Vytal Festival. The guilt that ate away at her, nibbling at the back of her mind every time she thought too much about what had happened.]
I was stupid, I walked off before the match even started! Even though I knew something was wrong!
[She's clutching at Penny again, her knuckles turning white with how hard she's gripping the android's shoulders.]
If I had gone to Professor Ozpin or Mr Ironwood instead of snooping around, maybe... they might have believed me about what Emerald could do. They might've been suspicious, at least.
[Even if they couldn't have stopped the match, they could have at least gone to talk to Emerald. That would've distracted her enough.... right?]
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Wait. Slow down. [ She wanted to ask what Emerald had to do with anything but decided, in the immediate, that the specifics were not that important. It wasn't as if new clues would have Penny suddenly rushing off to give a solution to whatever unsolved mysteries were still floating around about why the fighting took such a tragic turn toward the end. It wouldn't rewind time and undo all the pain and suffering.
There was a sinking feeling in Penny's gut. Figuratively, anyway. She was familiar with the sensation. The notion that someone was keeping information from her purposefully. Apparently no one around her back at Atlas has learned that lies of omission still burn and scar like bald-faced ones.
She frowned. ] I know the match was staged. They wanted me to fight Pyrrha at all costs, knowing the advantage she had over me and my body.
No one has told me exactly how they managed to do it. But. If they did go through that effort, then ... [ They probably would have stopped at nothing to make sure it ended the same way. Or worse, even. She reached up to put her hands atop Ruby's own, squeezing those tense knuckles gently. ]
Listen to me. Ruby. I do not, nor will I ever blame you for what happened that night. [ Her usual brightness was slowly working its way back into her voice. She needed that warmth, to dispel the gloom lurking around them. ] You did your best. That means the world to me.
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[And there was one of the roots of the problem. Even after seeing the reality of the destruction that the Grimm could cause, even after seeing how bad people could be... all Ruby wanted to keep doing was protect people. She wanted to protect all the kingdoms' citizens, she wanted to protect what family she had left, she wanted to protect her friends...
She wanted to protect Penny. She counted in the above category, of course; she's a friend on the level of Blake and Weiss now, there's no doubt about that. But at the same time, she's... different. The idea of someone hurting Penny doesn't just upset Ruby, it downright terrifies her. And to have seemingly lost her...
She shakes her head, trying to get rid of those nagging thoughts.]
What kind of Huntress am I if I can't even protect the people important to me?
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There aren't any words to answer Ruby's question. Penny was not going to insult anyone's intelligence or lack of skill under any circumstances; it just wasn't in her nature. Security was tight around the city that day and in the end it didn't matter. Could more have been done? Probably. Would it have helped? There is no way to know for sure. Penny doubted that any of the Huntsmen present that day could have changed the outcome even more than they were able to. Regardless of how powerful of a force they were, there was only so much they can manage.
Penny lowered one hand and brought it to rest against Ruby's chest. ] Your heart is so big, Ruby. But... it's selfish, isn't it? It wants to carry that weight all on its own! It doesn't have to.
[ She unzipped her coat. Penny was smiling as she took one of Ruby's hands and mirrored its position on her own chest. She planted that palm right onto the ruffled material of the white blouse she had on. The collar was tied with a red ribbon instead of her original high black collar. With the folds open it was plain to see the top of a brown vest peeking out from behind the lapels of an even darker jacket. It was a different uniform entirely.
A Beacon Academy uniform. ] I have a heart too, remember? You told me that. So ... use it. If it will help you, it's yours.
[ Maybe that was an equally selfish thing to say. Ruby no doubt had a strong support network of her teammates, her friends, and her family. But at the same time, Ruby was incredibly important to Penny because she had looked at her the same as any ordinary person at a time where she was at her most vulnerable; when she could have just as easily been exposed for who she was. All Ruby had cared about was what was inside Penny. Her potential to be more than the sum of her parts. ]
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Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump Th-thump Th-thump.
Under Penny's hand, Ruby's heartbeat quickens, bringing a warmth to her face that isn't all that unpleasant. It does, however, make it a little hard for her to think, it takes her a minute to realize just what Penny's wearing.]
Penny, you... [Again her heart speeds up, because oh,, this is better than anything she could have hoped for in the aftermath of the Vytal Festival. It had torn her up, but she'd resigned herself to never seeing her precious friend ever again. So this... the chance to see her every day...
It's a good thing Ruby got all those sobs out already, or else she might start crying again.]
I know you do. And I'll make sure you never doubt that, ever. But you can't just... [She trails off. Ruby likes to think she's pretty attuned to how machines work, having spent so much time working on Crescent Rose and reading up on the weapons of other Hunters and Huntresses. So she wants to believe it's not just her imagination when she feels the soft, almost imperceptible whirring of gears and mechanics under Penny's faux skin. Is that what a robot's heartbeat feels like...] G-Giving your heart away like that is kind of a big thing, y'know.
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It's a pity that Penny was largely oblivious to all the meanings her words had carried with them. But that was at least obvious from the way she tilted her head like a confused puppy. There might not be literal gears turning in her chest the way Ruby thought, but the figurative ones in her mind torqued rapidly to try and comprehend that hesitation. ]
It is...?
[ Forgive her, Ruby. Penny literally knows not what she does.
Except, in the next instant, she does! Or at least she thinks she does. Her head snaps up straight when the idea hits her. ] Oh! Oh, no no no, I won't give it to you. That's too much, I know.
But I will happily share it with you! [ She beamed wide, seemingly proud of herself for that answer. ]
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[Right. Right! Of course Penny didn't know what she meant! Not that Ruby can blame her or anything, with how she was raised. She was a lot like Ruby, in the beginning of her time at Beacon. Before she was put through the emotional wringer a few times.
... So why does the idea of Penny not really getting the meaning of her words disappoint her...?]
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Nope! [ She's still smiling when she says it, almost like her face was momentarily frozen like that. Penny wipes that expression away with a quizzical one post-haste. She cannot bear the thought of there being any miscommunication after all this time. She had always thought the two of them could, and would, talk about so much and come to a further understanding of one another.
That confusion quickly evolved into outright concern. There are other times when a person's heart can be made to race, after all. Penny feared the worst, briefly, but did not know why. Surely nothing about her choice of words could have frightened her dearest friend.
Right...? ]
Did I say something wrong?
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[Oh geez, is she really going to have to explain this stuff to Penny?? Shouldn't her "father" be the one doing that? Ruby barely understands it herself!
... But as soon as she thinks that, a voice in her head speaks up. Not like her usual inner voice, or the voice that sounds vaguely like Yang whenever she's debating on whether or not to do something ridiculous. The voice is... older. Nostalgic.
"Maybe you can learn to understand it together."
...Wow, she isn't sure where that came from, but it makes her face heat up more than anything now. And... it's making her realize that she kind of trailed off and left Penny hanging, so with a slightly panicked look, Ruby shakes her head again to clear it a little.]
Um... you know. [No Ruby she doesn't know, stop assuming these things!!!] People usually only say those kinds of things whrn they're... um. Th-They're in love.
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What the android got, however, just raised more questions! "Love" is a word that she understands but does not use often. It's not silly to assume such a thing as that. ]
Oh!
[ However, to be in love is a foreign state for her. A concept that has many roots and examples and definitions that Penny can examine, but only a handful come close to lining up with her intentions. She has to break them down one by one and see if the pieces fit. ]
Oh.
[ It's a laborious process. The seconds feel stretched out but it still isn't enough time to fit in all the thinking she wants to do. ]
Oh...
[ It's a good think Penny doesn't have to breathe, else holding her breath like that would have been dangerous. After that long span of silence, she finally remembers that blinking was a good idea to keep her eyes clean and also not creep out the friend that was probably expecting some other response by now.
Penny once again canted her head at an angle, brows furrowed in intense concentration, her eyes fixed upon Ruby's face. It's the exact look as when they first met and she leaned in close (way too close) to inquire as to their friendship status.
Ruby was wise to the ways that humans did things. Surely she could answer one important question for her: ] Is it possible to be "in love" with a friend ... ?
[ Because if she has to choose between being Ruby's friend and being ... whatever the alternative is ... then Penny doesn't see why she would want anything to change! This is probably the sort of question best reserved for a third party, but who else would Penny ask? Her father? Mr. Ironwood? Ciel??? ]
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No no no did she ruin it she can't ruin things now not when she just got Penny back--
And then Penny speaks up again, and the awkwardness slams back into her so hard that Ruby almost staggers. OKAY THAT'S GOOD, SHE'S NOT UPSET.
... Well.
Okay no it's not exactly good, because they're still having this conversation and oh god Ruby just doesn't know what to do. Even Nora could probably give advice about love and that kind of stuff better than her...!]
W-Well, uh... I don't see why not! [Maybe if she laughs really awkwardly this won't seem so bad...!] You kinda have to know someone before you develop those kinds of feelings, right?
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Of course, it's always best to get confirmation.
She takes Ruby's hands in both of her own, her eyes wide like she was on the cusp of that "eureka!" moment. Penny laughs, briefly and happily. ]
Haha, this is exciting! I think I'm beginning to understand, now!
[ Does she? Does she really understand? No. But it's a start and apparently the continuation of that course involved bombarding Ruby with rapid-fire questions. ]
Is there a way to be certain when one is "in love"? Is it an immediate or gradual realization? What does it feel like? How does sharing one's heart tie into all this?
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[Even as a kid, it took a while for Ruby to understand just how people could fall in love like they did in the stories. She accepted it wholeheartedly, of course, but it was still a concept it took her a little while to get a grasp of.]
Well... I guess it's different for everyone. Some people might know right away. For others, it takes a while. A really long time, even.
[She pauses. It seems like forever since she read a book for fun, with all the chaos of the festival's aftermath, training for the festival before that, and general schoolwork before that, but she can still remember the more common stuff... that's all she really has to go on, since she's never been in love herself.]
They say that you feel warm, whenever you're near the person you like. That you feel like nothing else in the world really matters when you're together. And when you're apart for a long time, it can be almost unbearable.
[That feeling of warmth when she held Penny's torn-up hands, despite the coolness of the metal underneath... laughing and joking with Penny, completely blowing off watching the festival she'd waited all year to see and participate in... the anguish of the past few months that hurt a place in her chest even deeper than where her heart was, whenever she thought about never seeing Penny again...
... It was all for Penny's sake that she'd explained it, but the more she dwells on her own words, the more... the more she's dwelling on all her interactions with the other girl. And that... well. That causes something to click.
Oh...]
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Mechanically speaking, if Penny felt herself any warmer than usual she was probably in serious trouble and in need of repairs! But her sensors can pick up details about other people that might escape their own notice. Ruby's vital signs from before, for example. Elevated body temperatures. The exact points where their eyes focused their attention. Little things like that.
Matching the signs to what they meant was still something that required more experience than she had.
As for her priorities. Well. Whether Ruby was present or not, Penny was aware that a great deal of her attention was focused on the other girl. Wondering if she was safe. When they would be able to play and laugh together next.
Not to mention trying her damnedest to get enrolled in Beacon Academy — not just to expand Penny's horizons and see more of the world, as she had explained before, but also to see Ruby as often as possible. To keep the distance between them as small as possible.
But, backing up, Ruby had prefaced all of those points with something else that had Penny further confused. ]
If the signs are different for everyone, then it'd be impossible to know which would apply to me. Because I'm unique. [ Penny frowned. That... that was actually disappointing. How could someone quantify and explain the difference in feelings for a being — a person that had no equal; no peer to set the precedent on how she should be acting, or what she should be feeling? Penny's thoughts had drifted in that way before, but nothing with the urgency of the current situation. She wanted to know.
She needed to know! Penny gazed once more into those silver eyes as if the answer was somehow written there and not in the words that had spilled forth from Ruby's lips. ] But ... I do know that I like the way all of that sounded. Is that good enough?
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[And Ruby will never stop thinking of Penny that way. It doesn't matter that she was made, not born. It doesn't matter that there's only metal and circuitry under Penny's skin. Her heart is human, probably a lot more human that most people out there, so that's what really counts.]
... Wait. [She thought this was all sort of hypothetical. That she was just helping Penny with yet another thing she didn't understand. But... when she says that...]
Are you... are you saying you might be...?
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